Captain Joe'sVegas Weekend
September 18–20 · 2026 · Las Vegas NV
Las Vegas · 2 nights onlyNo. 001
two nights only
Vegas Weekend
The Chakko Kid · Groom, temporarily unsupervised

Five men, one weekend, and the last unsupervised hours before the wedding. Two nights in Las Vegas — shows, cards, questionable decisions, and a running order nobody intends to follow.

Sept 18 – 20 · 2026
Final weekend before the final 2
Doors open in
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The Plizan

Yes, that's how it's spelled in the planning doc. We're not fixing it. Everything below is Vegas time and updates itself ♠

Friday · Sept 18Arrivals & the steak
    Saturday · Sept 19All roads lead to Caesars
      Sunday · Sept 20Consequences

        The Crew

        Five guys. One of them is getting married. Three of the other four fly home before he does, which leaves Bryen on airport duty.

        JoeThe groom. Takes out the trash. Won the casserole.
        In Fri 1:00 PM
        Out Sun 2:00 PM
        SanjayCaptain of logistics. Every reservation is under his name, and he lands first — Frontier permitting.
        In Fri 10:00 AM
        Out Sun 7:30 AM
        DerrickHas three coworkers who won't shut up about Absinthe.
        In Fri 12:00 PM
        Out Sun 9:50 AM
        JakeSecond one in, first one out. Efficient man.
        In Fri 10:30 AM
        Out Sun 6:00 AM
        BryenHolds the Absinthe tickets. Booked — “times are similar to Joe’s.”
        In Fri ~1:00 PM
        Out Sun ~2:00 PM

        Intel

        The stuff you'll actually need at 1 AM.

        Home base

        The Signature at MGM Grand

        Check in Fri 3:00 PM · Out Sun 11:00 AM. Connected to MGM Grand by indoor walkway, which matters more than you think at 3 AM in September.

        Reservations

        All under Sanjay, party of 5.

        Delmonico Fri 7:00 PM · Bacchanal Sat 11:30 AM · Hell's Kitchen Sat 4:45 PM. Absinthe tickets are on Bryen's phone, 9:00 PM.

        Money

        Everything goes in Splitwise. Same night.

        Bring small bills for dealers, servers and valets. Strip ATMs charge $5–$8 and know exactly what they're doing.

        Free drinks

        Sit down, play something, tip a buck.

        Sign up for MGM Rewards and Caesars Rewards on arrival. Two days of play still earns comps ♦

        House rules

        • The groom does not open his wallet. Not once. Not even for water.
        • Nobody says the phrase "one more hand" after 2 AM. Say it, buy the round.
        • Saturday is an all-Caesars day. Buffet, dinner and show are in one building. Do not wander.
        • Hydrate. Alternate every cocktail with water. Sunday-morning-you is boarding a plane at 6 AM.
        • Anyone who mentions the wedding budget gets put on the 7:30 AM flight.

        The Dossier

        Classified intelligence on the groom, gathered from an open-source wedding website. Rookie mistake, Joe.

        Ask the oracle

        Tap the button. Accept the outcome.

        Exhibit A · 2010

        Back row of a Theory of Knowledge class. He was still eating breakfast. In the late morning.

        Received a confession over AOL Instant Messenger and, by his own admission, did not see it coming even slightly.

        Exhibit B · the F

        He once earned an F in philosophy for goofing off too hard with the woman he is now marrying.

        Romantic. Expensive. Worth it, apparently.

        Exhibit C · the casserole

        Won the head-to-head sweet potato casserole comparison. Still brings it up.

        She forgot the cinnamon. He has never once let this go ♥

        Exhibit D · Santorini

        Got timer-scammed by a Greek YouTuber on the Fira–Oia hike and had to cab it.

        Salvaged by a black risotto at Emfasis that he will describe to you, unprompted, this weekend.

        Exhibit E · the scoreboard

        They track first-to-three Dominion on a supermarket calendar. First to three, gentlemen.

        Joe0
        The Groomsmen0

        Winner buys nothing. Loser buys everything.

        Exhibit F · Saturday, 8 PM

        For a solid stretch of 2020 he called her every Saturday at 8 PM sharp. Every single one.

        This Saturday at 8 PM you'll be at a blackjack table in Caesars. Make the call anyway. She'll love it ♣

        Catherine & Joseph

        Honeymoon: probably Malaysia. Favorite shared activity: pretending to be MMA fighters. Dorkiest trait: the calendar scoreboard. Worst slice pizza in New York City: ask them in person, they refuse to slander it in writing.

        The Flyer

        The physical version. Same poster, 8.5 × 11, printed and handed over in person. This site is what its QR code points at.

        Scan for the plizan
        joesbeforehoes.party · live countdown & running order
        Open the print flyer